Heart Over Head

"You have to come to sign for my court marriage as a witness ". She told me.

Court Marriage ...I had always thought of it as a joke and formed it as a part of many jokes.

I had never thought i will be part of one such marriage. Specially after I have successfully finished my own very well Arranged Marriage without anybody’s signature. After giving a huge thought
I gave a reply..." What’s the hurry....??"

" I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."...came the answer ...reminding me of Kareena Kapoor of jab we met..

Since I was a friend for quite some time I was close to her family as well. I could see the Gabbar Singh (as always girls father) hitting me and me acting like rajpal yadav and "the mandir ka ghanta " scene for assisting them in the so called marriage.

So I tried to reason her out.

"Who is the boy"....I could muster the courage to ask her.

She gave a puzzled and angry look..

"Not that I don’t trust you ...But aint I suppose to know ... I mean ...aaa.. I mean legally I will be signing on some document...naaa... that I know him..Wont I ...I ...I don’t know actually..." I tried to pacify and clarify..

"Dint I tell You...He is studying abroad in an beautiful country Switzerland..What a wonderful place ..You know many movies of yashraj ki shooting wahi hui thi... . .and getting some degree..."

"What degreee...?" I asked
Again she gave a puzzled and angry look..

"No I mean ...doctor ...engineer...architect......No...Not that it matters. " .. I said...wanted to but dint add that my signature will remain same for all the three professions...

"Actually I think he is doing something related to medicine ...so must be a doctor...”. She replied for a change instead of puzzled and angry look.

The way she answered made me feel like she is least interested in anything other than the boy so I avoided questions about his roots..Families..Hometowns etc...Moreover my signature wasn’t going to change for any of the above factors.

"Is he an Indian...." Again a stupid question considering my signature is independent of the nationality of the groom.

Again the angry puzzled look and no words. I assumed that yes was the answer.

"No...No I mean I haven’t seen him ....not that I have any chance..Of going to Switzerland...but still my friend is going to marry him ...I am a bit curious just that much...that’s all...”

"Ok here take his number ...xxx-xxxxxxx call him whenever u find time...but make sure that he is awake that time and don’t disturb him...” She obliged more than was asked for.

I saw the number and something told me that I have seen this number…Somewhere
Arey It was similar number to one of my best friends ...in Austrailia.. Then why is this guy saying that he is from Switzerland.....I attributed this to the craze of Bollywood and Yashraj....and left it there.

Once she left with the threat that the guy is coming next week and you have to be there at the court .

I decided to call the number assuming that at least the guy must be knowing better than the girl …what is he coming to India for… and whether he knows about the girl and the marriage.

" Hi.." I wished him.
"Hi bhaiyaa.....Can I call You bhaiyaa…Mera koi bhai nahi hai naa.." He replied . I wondered whether he wishes that to everyone or I am something special...( Obviously he was expecting my call )

But his answer made me know that he is an Indian.(yes I was still doubtful)

"Of course ......you can ...What’s your name ... What do I call you then..Where in India are you from and where did you do your education from...What is that you are doing in Switzerland.."..I asked in one breath all my questions....which of course weren’t going to affect the signature but still somehow I could imagine myself sitting in front of a 3rd degree enquiry with the bulb hanging right over head and lights right on the eye and muscular men asking me who is this person you witnessed for in his marriage...how do you know him..And how many times you assisted him in smuggling weapons...

He replied he is from rishikesh...but studied coincidentally from my school and was my junior only. Both the places names struck some chord and there on our conversation clicked. I asked him since when did he knew the girl ...

Came filmy dialogue..

"Mile hue to 10-15 din hi hue hai but aisa lagta hai...jaise janmon se jaanta hoo usee.."..

That was first time the thought crossed my mind..."Am I that old to understand their love of 15 days ..hamne to 15 din mein kissi ladki se dosti bhi nahi kee Marriage...to never even crossed my mind..."..Then came back the spirit..Key farak painda hai ...miya biwi raazi to kya karega kaazi...and of course My signature will remain the same even if its 15 years old love...But yes he was well prepared and informed about who he was talking to and knew me well and I realized the Bhaiyaa thing may not for everyone

I thought of Dosti jab kisi se ke jaaye ....To dushmano ki bhi rai lee jaaye...kyonki ek baar Dosti ki hai to nibhaani to padegi bhi... hence as a part of dosti nibhana...

I tried to reason him out ..with some statements like ...

"Whats the hurry..??" ...No effect on him...

"Why Don't you take some time...."...No effect

"Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.. So chill out and take some time before you decide... and take my signature"….no effect

"Mom Dad ke baarey mein socho...".. No effect

"Think about your family your sisters...".. No effect

"Your life after marriage" No Effect

"Love marriage or arranged marriage "...No effect...

You could be thinking by now why was I trying so desperately...after all my signature will remain same.....Actually Yes but well again my imagination helped me create a scene where I am tied to a chair with both husband and wife hitting me with each chappals and saying " ham to bachche the par aap ko to samjhaana chahiye tha"..

But something in my mind told me that they are not bachchas and will see the light of sense. They have not yet had the chills and fever of love in full stream and they wanna settle down in 98.6 of marriage. I gave one last try...

"Good that you are marrying ...Everybody should marry. After all happiness is not the only thing..." I said.

"Why" he asked...For the first time I thought that my funny statement had evoked an effect on him...

I got the line....of Attack.

"Dude Life before marriage is the best ... In fact the moments you spend with your "to be” are the best and the most memorable moments in life...which you will never forget...and when u retire and age..And sit back in your house of dreams will remember those moments so why not expand and maximize the number of events by having the days as much as possible."

"Is it...” He asked ....phewwwww.. it was working...

"Actually Yes...These are and will be your best romantic moments ...take it from your elder brother..." I answered...For the first time in the whole conversation all the words came out directly from my heart...even the words Elder brother...

After a little more heart talk and convincing , to my surprise he agreed ....and decided that he will take time and may be go for the marriage next year ...I guess I should have used my heart than the brain...

Generally I use my heart only but guess since wherever I sign I use my mind and hence I was using my Mind only all through the conversation...

So I came out of the situation where I had sign without using my mind….

Let’s wait n watch till next year….May be families will join and My signature will not at all be required Till Then I will keep using my heart ahead of mind…

BE HAPPY, IT's ONE WAY OF BEING WISE!!!

Yesterday, I was driving, and the FM radio went off for few seconds. I thought, I should have an iPod. Then suddenly I realized that I have not used my iPod in last 6 months. And then more things, Handy cam in last 2 years, Digital Camera in last 2 months, DVD player in last 1 month and many more. Now I can say that I bought that Handy cam just out of impulse, I have used it twice only in last 4 years.

So, what's wrong and where? When I look at myself or my friends I can see it everywhere. We are not happy with what we have but all are stressed and not happy for the things we don't have. You have a Santro, but you want City, You have a City, but you want Skoda. Just after buying a new phone, we need another one. Better laptop, bigger TV, faster car, bigger house, more money .I mean, these examples are endless. The point is, does it actually worth? Do we ever think if we actually need those things before we want them?

After this, I was forced to think what I need and what I dont. May be I didnt need this Handy cam or the iPod or that DVD player. When I see my father back at home. He has a simple BPL colour TV, he doesnt need 32'Sony LCD wall mount. He has a cell phone worth Rs 2,500. Whenever I ask him to change the phone, he always says Its a phone, I need this just for calls.And believe me; he is much happier in life than me with those limited resources and simple gadgets. The very basic reason why he is happy with so little is that he doesnt want things in life to make it luxurious, but he wants only those things which are making his life easier. Its a very fine line between these two, but after looking my fathers life style closely, I got the point. He needs a cell phone but not the iPhone. He needs a TV but not the 32" plasma. He needs a car but not an expensive one.

Initially I had lot of questions. I am earning good, still I am not happy why ? I have all luxuries, still I am stressed.... ....... why ? I had a great weekend, still I am feeling tired...... why? I met lot of people, I thought over it again and again, I still don't know if I got the answers, but certainly figured out few things. I realize that one thing which is keeping me stressed is the stay connected syndrome. I realized that, at home also I am logged in on messengers, checking mails, using social networks, and on the top of that, the windows mobile is not letting me disconnected. On the weekend itself, trying to avoid unwanted calls and that is keeping my mind always full of stress. I realized that I am spending far lesser money than what I earn, even then I am always worried about money and more money. I realized that I am saving enough money I would ever need, whenever needed. Still I am stressed about job and salary and spends.

May be, many people will call this approach not progressive attitude but I want my life back. Ultimately its a single life, a day gone is a day gone. I believe if I am not happy tonight, I'll never be happy tomorrow morning. I finally realized that meeting friends, spending quality time with your loved one's; spending time with yourself is the most important thing. If on Sunday you are alone and you don't have anybody to talk with, then all that luxuries life, all that money is wasted. May be cutting down your requirements, re-calculating your future goal in the light of today's happiness is a worthwhile thing to do. May be selling off your Santro and buying Honda City on EMIs is not a good idea. I believe putting your happiness ahead of money is the choice we need to make.

I think, a lot can be said and done but what we need the most is re-evaluation of the value of happiness and time we are giving to our life and people associated with it.

BE HAPPY, IT's ONE WAY OF BEING WISE!!!

Habits...

Robin Sharma (of the monk who sold his Ferrari fame), wrote “if you follow a thing/ habit for 21 days, it becomes a necessity and you need another 21 days of determination to get out of that necessity” . Not that I am a big fan of Robin Sharma or I have followed the tips he gave, but yes it reminded me of some Miss Lucy of DDLJ...who said… “Aadatein agar jaldi badli na jaayein to wo jarooratein ban jaati hai...”

Well, I went to a hospital yesterday and saw something strange. A person lying on the bed and staring on the blank TV screen and shouting in between something incomprehensible, then again keeping quiet. The doctor told me this abnormality will continue up to 11 pm or even till 12 pm. He will get out of it soon. Don’t worry. We have about 50 similar patients sitting here and doing this. Some of them even not eating anything in dinner and some continuously asking popcorns and pepsi. I asked what the disorder is. He told me it’s “Life after IPL”.

I had a good laugh and came back from the place. I have this married friend who has a 2 yr old kid with an ability to refresh your mind. I went to his place for a tea and found the couple fighting. The fight was about who will make the dinner tonight. I was surprised as they had a pakka arrangement for alternate day of sacrifice, each helping other with dishes and cutting onions and vegetables. What’s the fight now?

It seems they had gone into that betting culture that with each supporting a different team and whoever wins the bet will enjoy the next day dinner without anything to do. NO Match No Bet ...dare I say No Dinner. They seem to have forgotten the earlier set up. May be another 21 days. Or they need to find another topic of betting. Like who will read the news on aajtak today Deepak or Vinod. What will be the colour of the sari of Tulsi...Blue or Green...?

People seem to have caught these diseases. They have left the old saas bahu sickness and picked up these. I thought its only families which are getting affected. So I went to a bachelor friend of mine. He was too depressed to even talk. I for a moment thought that he is the most affected. He is missing the matches and the drama. He said “Hell with IPL , its over and now I am free ...for full duration I watched it and enjoyed , but now I have forgotten it and want to go back to my normal life and meet my girl , but she is in no mood..” . Well, I wanted to tell him that it’s a revenge she is taking on you for not taking her out for a month but decided against it and kept quiet.

Nothing seems to have replaced IPL as of now. Families are looking for some old serials but it just doesn’t seem to fit in. Pets got a good game of jumping on every boundary or six , don’t feel like jumping on close ups of 'Mihir' or 'Baa' face being shown three times in a row without any reason . Wives who were worried in the beginning of IPL that they may loose track of the story line after one month are least bothered about the story of the serials now. Though I can tell you nothing much would have changed in these stories. It might take an IPL of 80 teams and a league of 4 matches each to let the stories of these move ahead.

Well it has its effect. You can see groups in the office/work place/home being formed based on their teams. People calling others as DD member or DC or RR or CSK. Some of them have got this habit of sending message to others “DD or RR?? "...not even mentioning in the sms the obvious part of the question which team are you with. Some shouting (presumably singing) “dhol bajane aaye hum” or “korbo ladbo jeetbo re..” on any achievement or moment of success. People have already started enquiring about marriage organizers for arranging cheerleaders in baarat or ladies sangeet. A request for a dug out for barathis will not be totally unacceptable.

Research conferences arranging opening ceremony with a bollywood star/dancer/singer/ being arranged will not be totally out of place. After each presentation some dancers dancing and cheering the public scientists. Some of them might even go to SRK or PZ for funding their presentation to start a club culture promoting science. Each bidding for the best presenter and may be a prize money for a few billions for the coveted ones.

Welcome to the World After IPL.